*

2008-07-16T22:25:00.001+08:00

i'm gonna have a new blog.

taking this off soon. i'll copy some of the more recent posts.

and the rest will lie in the grave - not completely forgotten, but.

2008-07-16T22:21:00.002+08:00

i hate it when i can't play the piano when night falls.

i hate it when i just can't improve as much as i want to.

my motivation, my aspiration, my obsession.

music is my life - i breathe music, eat music, drink music, sleep music. ;P

宇豪~~~ he's damn cool. ahhh~ *hyperventilates*

2008-07-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

10 promises to my dog - another movie that had me shedding tears.

it's jap again ; it's good.

2008-07-12T21:26:00.004+08:00

Koizora (恋空) is a beautiful movie.

Sad too - I cried during the show.

Watched it twice already and both times...

I wonder how many times it will be before I stop crying during the show.

2008-07-12T21:22:00.003+08:00

hello peepx. i'm single again. no complains here ;)

someone shattered my heart, fragile as it is now, today. but nevermind, cos yesterday's joy hasn't wore off entirely yet - and eye-candies always soothes a broken heart, no matter how little, it's still a comfort.

somehow felt that for everything that happens, time will tell. if i am destined to get anything, i will get it - it's just a matter of time.

anyway, welcome myself back to blogging - infrequently as it is.

i'm happy today.

i was happier yesterday.

2008-06-13T00:42:00.003+08:00

he's going away...

my parents think that we shouldn't be that close to each other...

he tell me that this will be a test of our affection... but...

i don't want things to turn out this way... but but but...

he's back in penang now... attending his big bro's wedding... his big bro gonna be a dad soon... i wonder how does it feel to be a parent... like my parents were... like buying something new? or like having a new pet? or a totally different feeling altogether?

wish he'd be back soon... nothing beats having him beside me... no matter wad happens he'd be here... it feels good to have someone whom you love to be here for you anytime, anywhere for anything, good or bad...

i have my frens too... i appreciate them, love them, care for them... much more... friends are important... that i know... i learnt from my mistakes... somethings... if he forces me to give something up for him, he ain't worth it...

love is very funny sometimes... when u fall out of a relationship, guys clamour over each other to be your next... and funnily, you can like a certain one of them that you can't have... but in the end, you won't be together and instead another guy gets you...

fate or destiny or wad i guess...

anyway....

decided to go and play in eridanus... will be trying out ice kacang's private server (i want to be GM!xP)... if it's good i'll go drag some ppl along hee ;P

feeling sickly now... tummy hurts, mouth inside itchy, tongue pain... stupid braces got one metal thing on top... dentist said that it's to hold my teeth so that they wouldn't anyhow move... now my tongue like kena cut or wad i also dono.. only know it huurttss... eat also pain... brush teeth also pain... move tongue also pain... alamak ahh, tolong T.T

okay lah, need to sleep liao. ;D

nitenite <3

note to self: watch koizora a.s.a.p. <3

2008-05-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

i'm at a bloody lost for words. or whatsnots.

things hadn't really gone smoothly between me and mum recently.

or rather.. ever since i could remember.

she always said that i put my friends before her and the family. whether its true or not, i'll not discuss it but...

she was the one who showed us the wicked example years ago... she'd rather believe that freaking auntie-liar friend of her instead of me or my sister and hit us, saying we did wrong and so on. despite our protests...

i dont know but... really unhappy these days. hais..

2008-05-15T21:15:00.002+08:00

i guess i shd get myself outta this emo trance...

but i guess, having nothing to do really gets to me...

i tell one single ex-classmate that i am no longer in tp anymore, and somehow.. i dont know, but another of my ex-classmates found out...

i cant stop'em from spreading news, but i cant help but to feel...

i duno... but it aint nice, and sure, i dont like it, not a little, not at all...

i failed at many things, but they're all trivial little setbacks that i coped without even getting the least flustered... but this time, i cried for so long - i had let my parents down, let a coupla' thousand of dollars go down da drain.. and so much more...

nothing much to do now, devouring the library's books, one after another... but that got monotonous after a while too... hopefully i'll get a job that will enrich me someway or another...

listening to geek in the pink right now... my lappy shuffled the playlist... but its kinda too upbeat for my mood but hey, who cares... seriously...

my desktop had went "piak" and gave up on me... even though it wasn't me who was using it at that particular moment.. but whichever it was, it was a bad time... when my finances are a lil'tight... i guess i'll tide thru, but it aint gonna be easy...

2008-05-15T21:13:00.001+08:00

4 In The Morning

Gwen Stefani

is nice, by the way ...

2008-05-15T21:02:00.004+08:00

机会只有一次 - 错过了, 始终是错过的机会

no comments . proven to be true time and again afterall .

2008-05-12T14:06:00.001+08:00

i am so.. tired.

anger... quivering with it, tears threatening to fall...

my world has turned upside-down...

i am a failure - for now only, hopefully.

2008-05-05T11:33:00.002+08:00

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What are you doing?
doing this tag, duH ? =p

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?

maomao - for a lil'bitto furry madness
pn - he's the sensible one who will keep us all alive
pres - nothing is working if she ain't here :D

3. Given the chance, what special ability/power would you like to have?
to read minds ? =p

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
ssssss-omewhere. haven't decided =x

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
future to be bright

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
well. seen it before ;x yeah i believe in it

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
the ppl around me.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
spend, donate, save. altho i'm thinking that donating is a lil'... well, i think i'd forget ;x

9. If there wasn't money ever, would the world be a better place.
i doubt - humanity has proven to be insatiable

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- lots of MUSIC, serious. we dig'em all well ;P
- source of endless furry madness
- a brilliant-o-kazillion person to talk to when, well, you need someone to talk to ;D

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
he LOVES me, respect for my parents, hmmm. well, pretty lot of them but basically things have to be a-okay and it'll be fine.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
marionettespielen

13. What is your ambition?
peace

14. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point it out, nicely

15. What do you think is the most important in your life?
i don't know. =/

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
not a shopaholic, but has a tendancy to go for retail therapy

17. What is the thing that you really want now?
get a job, eventually get into NIE..

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
i want to be more of a ppl's person

19. Is there anything that you have done which you regret?
regretting is a waste of time. but i still do.. =/ regretting failing my dip. sadded...

20. What's your most favorite quote?
somtimes in life, you don't get a second chance - treasure wad u have now ;D

so.. now i shall tag...

anyone ;D if u wish to do this, go on ;D

2008-03-25T07:25:00.002+08:00

well...

i screwed my IT subjects up reeeeeeally good again.

i just don't have both attitude and aptitude i guess..

been thinking that maybe studying that much isn't that impt to me anymore..

i mean, wads the use having so much money? it can't buy happiness wad..

i dono. maybe i'm being jaded.

hais. back to revising. supp paper later...

2008-03-17T00:29:00.003+08:00

do you know what it's like to be a friend to someone you love dearly, only to see the person find a love that hurt him/her and shatter his/her heart to pieces?

do you know what it's like... seeing how it began.. how it progressed.. how it ended... and all you can do is to give what little comfort you can, yet loving the person wholeheartedly, painfully?

do you know what it's like to not have something you desired?

i never realised.

but thank you my great friend for being there for me. always.

i love you too, a hundredfold compared to the person who taken me for granted.

friendship like ours - precious beyond anything.. more than priceless - one in a kazillion.

2008-03-14T00:49:00.003+08:00

Hmm. Haven't touched my blog for quite a while. *stares at cobwebs in the corner* lAwl, bad joke ;P

So... Had been mapling (D:) , bejeweled-ing and slacking pretty much recently.

And yeah, i flunked EBM and DM this semester - not that I'm surprised. for IT subjects - something major simply elude me. can't understand, can't apply, can't everything - thus...

Anyway, wanted to talk about courage. It's a random topic that well, i randomly thought of ;P courage and bravery seems to be two different things - to me, at least. courage seems like a broader term as compared to bravery. well, whatever.

one example of courage is being able to admit to loving someone ;D well that's a very common scenario. it's often illustrated in the tell-the-person-that-you-love-that-you-love-them-before-it's-too-late stories where the girl or guy will eventually die in a tragic accident before the other party tells him/her that s/he loves him/her. cliched, but well, it does happen.

from my perspective, a guy who is able to tell a girl that he likes (oftentimes it's like more than love, ain't it) her is really someone to be respected. it's rare ;D or rather i don't really encounter them. so far i met a few who, well *winks* you know, and i know that they like me even before they say it.. some instinct thingie, i guess... well and i also know there are more who don't say it.. there are rumours flying around, and i catch them well. ;D and through cross-referring, duh, you'd know which are the real ones and which aren't.

anyway, i think i crapped enough. thanks those who managed to read to this line, 'cos even i feel that those i typed above are crap ;x

nites all. drained and tired. *drops dead*

Valentine by Martina McBride

2008-03-07T18:20:00.003+08:00

If there were no words, no way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears, no way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need
My love, my Valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for all you give to me
You've opened my eyes, and shown me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before

In my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart until the end of time
You're all I need
My love, my valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
Cause all I need is you my valentine

Oh, you're all I need my love, my valentine

Beautiful lyrics rite :D

2008-03-05T12:15:00.005+08:00

well... had been chatting with a girl for sometime. i guess, problems in relationships are often caused by a clash in perception, lack of communication, or by just having different personalities. but of course, sometimes, feelings do fade. if there is nothing done to spice up the relationship (uh-uh don't think too much :P), it will dull off quickly. like, there's nothing special about the relationship and thus...

well, after chatting with her, i guess i will be seeing yet another relationship dissolving soon. i pray for her and her bf - both whom are my friends - and hope that in the event that they do go their separate ways, they will find happiness; and in the event that they stay together, they will find the one thing that is missing in their relationship so that they can find the happiness once again. but then again, all i can do is to pray and hope for them. the rest simply lies in their hands, i guess.

i'm damn grateful here that i'm once again single - and lovin' it, that's what i keep saying. but singlehood offers as much pros as cons. sometimes you just see the couples on trains, buses, or just simply walking and you wish - yearn - for that kind of... i dunno how to put it in words.

but anyway, i'm doing fine - i will cope. and as optimism go, i found myself saying a lot recently - i am so cute ~~~ i am harmless ! *SPLAT* - right. :P

2008-02-27T23:56:00.002+08:00

okay so.. in the end i did not remember what i wanted to blog about.. sth trivial...

anw... ytd my fren nearly (D:) killed herself over sth stupid.

from my point of view it's stupid.. somewhat of over-reacting... but.. wadeva..

ppl experience breakup all the time... me included.. current stats : single and lovin' it xP

but sometimes... most of the time... it hurts like mad... so much that u wan to cry and cry and cry~~ go on and cry it all out...

but even tho it hurts like crazy~ don do stupid things like trying to kill urself... life is precious - or so they said... if he dowan u, den let it be.. u still have all of us as ur frens.. we will be ard for u...

the ting is that... he never treasure u.. cheated on u... created a truckload of trouble for himself... do u tink he's worth it... is he so impt that u can die for him??

i tell u, NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

i knoe u spent alot on overseas calls.. the horrifying phone bills... cos u are there but he is here... but there's so much more to jus him in the world...

._.

i dono y i posting tis also.. she's nw currently situated in the ICU of some hosp in the States.. far far away.. we can jus pray for her.. can't see her.. can't touch her.. can't be there physically..

and i don even believe in half the things i write here... so like kou shi xin fei...

haiss...

on the otr hand.. for my dear les partner sher... ( PS: not REAL les partner.. i'm hetero.. )

ur darling bf is a person.. he got feelings too..

u every few weeks break wif him for little things.. don u tink u very guo fen?

and u knoe.. i'm the middle person how much i have to endure anot...

he come to me.. wan to cry wan to cry lidat.. cos u'r so impt to him...

but u... -_-'

later one day he got enuf..

he tell u.. he wan to go off...

how wld u feel then?

hais.

okay i ending here wif a question :

if d person u love is btr off without u/with someone else, wld u let him/her go?

2008-02-25T12:19:00.002+08:00

yesterday i was quarreling with someone on maple. sort of..

the person is..... one of the top 10 archers in aquila... dragon1988..

he's a total **********.

i don't know why am i still playing maple but still.. zZZz argh...

he's kpo, and stupid, and dumb, and he tells me he's going to uni, and his english totally SUCKS, and he... aiya, zhong zhi jiu shi, got taiji come and "clarify" and make things worse only. still say wad i rude and wad f*ck. hello????? i didn't say i'm NOT rude. =.= i beri gl de okay, OKAY.

anyway... i forgot wad i wanted to blog about in the first place.. will be back to post IF i remember.

._.

2008-02-22T22:17:00.007+08:00

i love you too pres <3

okay i'm back for a while, having a break from everything i'm doing... things are hectic - i have a guests to entertain, admin stuff to take care of, exams to revise for, chores to help mum with and god knows. so yup...

here's a ... i dono wad u call this but wadeva ;P

---
about u

` what's your name
- madeline

` birthday
- right smack in the middle of the last month of the year. go figure ;)

` birth place
- little red dot near the equator~ the sunny island

` birth time
- i think 10+ in the morning. o_O

` no. of siblings
- one lil sis x)

` 7 random facts about yourself
- my first userID for something (i forgot) is called sOraSuwiNtER
- my first password corresponding to the above is wintermelon =.=
- my favourite milkshake flavour is BANANA whilst my favourite milk flavour is chocolate
- i love chocolates, the darker, the better
- i'm a totally crazy person that do crazy things eg. wave to a stranger's kid on the bus "hellO"
- i'm stubborn, very very stubborn
- i'm scared of ppl falling for me, somehow.

===
opposite gender

` hair colour
- o_O i guess it doesn't matter

` eye colour
- ideally, honey or hazel xP but, doesn't matter too

` personality traits?
- romantic! haha xP frank, open-minded, considerate... aww gosh i can't list them all!

` looks?
- hmmm. doesn't matter at all as long as he's nice ;)

` likes and dislikes?
- anything, as long as he lUURRVVEES yours truly ;)

` age?
- ahh. not too far from my age can liaos xP the nearer, the better ^^
===
future

` location
- somewhere nice

` home
- condo

` marrying or not?
- yep definitely ;)

` no. of kids
- 2 at least

` occupation
- not sure, definitely something i love

enD
---

2008-02-17T23:23:00.002+08:00

我與愛無緣

我与爱无缘

really. what they call dui de ren chuo de shi jian... dui de shi jian, chuo de ren...

maybe i should just disappear...

will not be updating for some time... totally no mood...

won't be online on msn, frenster and facebook and whatever... will be online on one thing only, and i'm not saying.. if you know, you know lor...

so yup, i'm off on my hiatus. tatas everyone, till the time i'm back, pray for me, if u want... otherwise, rejoice that i'm gone... but i will be back. =)

2008-02-14T10:05:00.003+08:00

okay, i received this in the mail from a friend.. it's a forwarded to god-knows-how-many-ppl so i suppose it's to continue the chain of mails cos at the end there was a part - send to how many ppl or wad or wad...

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take advantage of the mood we're in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected. Smile and say 'thank you.'

Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.
Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.
See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it either.

Girls: I cannot stress this enough:
IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE.
DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL
TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT

Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them
feel.
Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....
and say 'i love you' ..........
AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

*****Give the nice guys a chance*****

2008-02-14T09:54:00.001+08:00

it's valentine's day.

don't know what to do.. had my ERM online test... just only...

just realised that how many ppl reali lack initiative.. like 80% of the times i go out i hav to ask them to do this and that and this and that D: maybe shy lah, hor ><

oh, and i heard that v-day is also friendship day?

happy friendship day, screw v-day.

2008-02-14T00:18:00.001+08:00

oh and i'm obssessed with...

something...

in fact, it's the only driving game i'm obssessed with...

it's called...

maximum tune, hahahahha.

yulin lor... be papa also be until lidat.. D: okay lah i not as crazy... 12k miles =.= pro lah pro lah.. take ur card and bend.. muahahahah X:

2008-02-13T23:50:00.004+08:00

this will be a giveaway answer to a friend test i created. will talk about it later... =P

anyway there was this anime that i watched like last year... it's called trinity blood.. it's damn difficult to download nowadays - so if you don't have the patience to download it, go buy it. it's only 2 boxes. haha =P well, there's the option of heck-care too so ya :D

in the first episode, there's this guy called abel nightroad who's supposed to be a priest.. the setting was in an airship.. and that guy ordered tea - very normal right.. but his special order is that.. he wans 13 cubes of sugar.. talk about sweet tooth-ed.

he turned out to be one of the most exciting / lame / cool etc character in the anime.. protagonist with a long and complicated past, some confusion about his identity and role.. but it turned out okay.

he's a krusnik - a vampire that feeds on other vampires.. sounds scary right.. when he transforms, his image is.. scary but kinda cool, really. i love his weapon. haha!

i would like that thank maomao for being the first to intro me to this test like nearly a year ago. haha i know i scored 100% *smirks* anyway, do go try it.. =P

so, yup, here's the friend test. haha =P

Create your own Friend Test here

2008-02-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

最近感到非常 emo 。

東西一直不見... 手機啦... 皮包啦... 麻煩死人了。

總是覺得身邊的人不是永遠的跟我著的... 人生就是這麼短暫...

今天出門買了許多東西, 總共花了兩百出吧... 心有些痛, 哈哈。

登記也是做了... 提款卡也取代了...

愛一個人... 可並不容易。愛能讓一個人體會所謂的快樂, 所謂的痛苦。

不知道自己心裡在想什麼, 要什麼。

我猜就這樣了啦... 沒有話講了...

2008-02-07T22:45:00.001+08:00

cny this year is..

a huge disappointment.

many ppl dint turn up..

and those who did, appeared and disappeared.

met my cousin's wife, second time during reunion yesterday, third time today. she's very very nice. :D

one of my cousins... changed a lot. her family is kind of broken.. but the change in her is ... somewhat expected.. she had her lip and tongue pierced, has a tattoo on her finger, and i don know what else.. and she's like 14?

not like things like this dont happen... but in my extended family, she's the first, and the most drastic one also... D:

2008-02-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

See my 3 bottles of vodka :P

Bought them today - they were too cute to resist. haha! 50ml bottles.

nice right~ nice nice nice...

was in town today, far east for the large part of the time I was there, with sis and kerryn initially... later jack said he wanted to join us.. (end up he jus helped us to carry our shopping. lol!) so me, sis and jack went walking... from far east to wisma to taka to ps. lol walk damn alot lah.. walk walk walk... oh, and i met benny. haha he xia si wo lah.. i was like "huh??" den it's like a "OH. bunny=x" so yupyup.

bought so much today lah.. got my pay yesterday and spent most of it today. lAwl.

and i still haven't got the ELLE wallet that i'm coveting for.. ahhhh D:

and i wan to watch CJ7, the fann wong movie and the jay chou movie and the johnny depp movie.. omg i wan to watch so many of them lahhh.. who nice enough to pei me watch ? pls~ D:

anyways, i'm half an hour late but, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE !

2008-02-05T03:59:00.001+08:00

ZZZ. kena scold le..go sleep liao...nite (morning) all. D:

2008-02-05T03:33:00.000+08:00

.你可以讓我愛你嗎
.
.可以嗎
.
.可以嗎
.
.可以嗎
.
.可以嗎
.
.可以嗎
.
.可以嗎

D:

2008-02-05T03:00:00.000+08:00

..zzz

feeling damn moody right now..

the wind torn through my room, literally...

the damned mirror fell and broke - into 7 pieces -_-' i'm not superstitious but still.... dammit lah, my only mirror in the room.. zzz gotta replace that...

and... i still haven't gotten around to replacing my sch matric card and my ez-link card and my IC. procrastination.. dammit someone whack the fucking thing on the head pls.

dad was like ... shouting just now... cos CNY is coming and the house is still in a fucking mess...

and i'm like, supposed to sleep... tmr got lessons and wtf.

dont feel like going...

....ZZz

2008-02-03T22:53:00.001+08:00

Valentine's day is approaching... Of course, not all of us have our valentines but it's okay.

Single is... Good... Single is... Scary... =\

Singlehood has its pros and cons, just like everything else in the world... But sometimes you'd yearn for the company, for the closeness a relationship presents. But like i mentioned earlier, everything has its pros and cons.

Blogging from my phone again haha. The convenience brought about by technology is, indeed, breathtaking. And it also allows me to succumb to my random urges to blog. Haha! Alright, that's all... (Data charges ._.)

2008-02-03T16:01:00.001+08:00

oh,

before i forget...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNNY BENNY ^^ hee

lawl. i just realised that i know him for...... lemme count.... 8 years !

remember the stupid times in pri sch... hahahahahahahaha

okay la grow up le rite.. big BOY liao hor... =x

hehe.

2008-02-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

i'm in my room... door closed.. windows shut...

and still...

its still so EFFING COLD.

...T_T

2008-02-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

my sis... is asleep... with her bf...

she took the damned mattress that no one is sleeping on currently. good lor..

jack is... hogging my desktop... i'm fine with that so... whatever...

mum is... using her desktop... which is normal... so there's nothing to comment about either...

i'm... feeling kind of emo... (no, don't bully me) and it's okay cos it's me i'm talking about...

damn lucas u stupid bozo u influence me lah... now i also emo like you le... (shifting the blame, hah. wtf)

maomao u also... so long den update ur blog once... go there see the same damned post over and over again... if i didn't ask you to update, would you?

feeling resentful right now... i'm still the same spoilt b*tch as before... if i don't get wad i want, i shall sulk and sulk and make everyone around me unhappy. oh yeah, i enjoy doing that, not.

to the girl who once said this to me - you're so fucking FAKE lah - you're right. and i fucking don't give a damn cos i like it. if i can make you believe that i'm happy when i'm not, that i'm angry when i'm not, why not? it's power over you, okay. not happy, get lost. =)

to yh, whom i just broke up with, who will never get a chance to see my blog again - you threw away the chances i gave you.. every last one of them... you threw them right down the drain...

when i gave you my URL, u spied on me. for every little thing i complained and swore about, you make me regret ever telling you my URL. so i changed it, all in a matter of 3 days. not only that, you said you love me, but did you? i doubt so - cos, for all that i did not do for u, u made me feel bad. and i'm not supposed to feel so bad - you were supposed to understand...

u once said - love is never having to say sorry - but look at how many sorries were said and none taken into consideration, none taken seriously. we're so screwed - too different. the ppl ard u dont like me, and the ppl ard me dont like you. when i told them i broke up with you, all of them were happy for me - good for you, gal - that's wad they said...

now you're asking me for a chance to get back together - fat hope - for i never want to go back to the same situation ever again.. with you, history repeats itself in a matter of weeks. everything is predictable. you said that if i gave you the chance, we'd last forever. like real - if forever is 2 weeks, i give you that.

i can admit that - there was love.. those strong feelings that can sweep you off your feet and make you twirl around in the wind - but you know what happened?

it got stifled to death by your inconsiderate, insensitive, selfish, uncaring, irresponsible, and you-name-it ways. you killed it so don't go begging for it to come alive - it wouldn't.

after typing all this, i feel kind of better - although i know it's for a short while only. troubles dont disappear after a blog post - but i think i will be able to deal with them, one at a time... if only you'd help me... cos u have the power to do so... it's whether u are willing to only...

2008-02-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

can't help but to feel that my whole life is coming apart.

i am but masking it with material wealth and desires... (i want this, i want that, i have this, i have that. what difference does it make?)

but everything i do, every step i take.. seemed to be a mistake...

i only want one thing, and i can't have it. cos it's not morally right, supposedly.

whatever.

someone i used to go out with roughly 2 years ago wants to break up with his gf. i remember that time when i went out with him, his gf sort of broke up with him... went out with him for a coupla weeks, after that we just stopped contacting each other. after a long while, i heard that his gf and him patched up. good for him.. so for them, it's 3 years together.

when i told him i am no longer attached, he started on... how his relationship with his gf is... i don't know how to put it.. but anyway it's like unravelling or what...

and he isn't the only one.. and it makes me feel damn bad. why are ppl breaking after i broke up with him...? it doesn't make sense... cos whatever feelings i had for that guy then were so shallow - i was a much younger person mentally afterall...

these years, i really did grow up - not willingly but, i did anyway.

i just don't know what to do now... or anything... they say it's called a dilemma - jing tui liang nan... yaya... forward also cannot, backwards also cannot... zz press the ESC key lah.. end it okay liao rite... -_-'

2008-02-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

The MacBook Air looks so fab fab fab fab!

but it doesn't have a disc drive -_-'

2008-02-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

okay i'm in school now.

i have an MC.

and i'm short of 4 teeth -_-

they look fabulous in a plastic bag, not.

can't figure out how am i going to fulfill my 3-meals-per-day requirement, altho i can't be sure it's still 3 meals, cos it seems like 1.5 meals a day nowadays.

2008-01-31T11:21:00.000+08:00

im dying...

of boredom.

dead bored..

zzzzz

2008-01-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

i wan the iPod touch.

but its capacity is kind of small.

hmmm.

2008-01-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

my mum told me to not be a hu li jing.

hais. i know what she meant..

but somethings are beyond my control, right.

yes ma'am, i'll do my best.

to my beloved knee : heal faster pls. you look painfully awful.

2008-01-30T09:52:00.000+08:00

my left knee is...

green and purple colour now.. i fell on the bruise that's already there. second time already lah!! PAINNNNNNNN

-_-'

not to mention the many scabs all over my leg...

amazing huh.

mad week, totally insane.

2008-01-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

today i was thinking alot.

about how fragile and fleeting life is...

about how easy you can fall for someone, but how much much more work you have to put in to keep things together...

about how not beautiful the world actually is...

about how harsh the "real world" out there is...

about alot of things.

feeling a little emo now... *smack head*

what really got me is about the incident sometime ago... about the dragon boaters in cambodia... i think one of them is jiaji's fren... and after the incident, he came to school all emo, clutching the newspaper article in hand and, well, acting all emo.

after that he hadn't appeared for many tutorials till recently.

the ppl who died are like, near my age lah. it's so scary to know that ppl can die anytime...

i can die anytime too lah, imagine i cross the road and~~~ bang~~~~

._.

2008-01-28T20:55:00.000+08:00

i LOST my wallet.

-my ic.
-my atm-debit card.
-my school matriculation card.
-my ez-link card.
-my various membership cards - popular, PCBunk, , and several other from clothes and accesories shops
-my arcade card (AHH ALOT OF MONEY LAH)
-my KOPITIAM card - no more "free" food due to the cash stored inside. alot also lah
-my cash - more den 50 bucks leh. T_T

wad happened was~ i was having my OB tutorial (presentation) and i left it in class. left with ms. ho, so yup she locked the door so..... if it's inside it will remain inside rite !

the last time i saw it was when i was having the tutorial lor..

and when i realised it's g-o-n-e, i ran back, literally, to find that there's another class scheduled there.. so i asked the teacher if i could go get "something i left behind" BUT i can't find it... then, i asked the teacher to ask the class if anyone saw it, no one saw it -_-' hello, my wallet doesn't have legs.

oh oh, and that irritant is in that class.

and i suspect someone in that class took it and.. well, ya'know..

so i'm left with replacing everything.

AND i need a damned police report to replace my sch matric card.. -_-' and have to go to ICA and waste truckloads of time waiting for shit to replace my IC.

bleh.

little bright-side to things - i can replace that retarded photo i have on my IC. Muahah.

2008-01-28T13:52:00.001+08:00

Lurvin doing makeup for jiaji. Heh... =x

2008-01-28T13:41:00.001+08:00

See... Disturb, disturb. Supposed to be doing ob. Haha!

2008-01-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

pom meeting ended sometime ago.

the atmosphere is so tense lah. everyone is polite. too polite...

oh wadeva. presentation is this friday. after this i'm free from them

yays-

oh yeah, received invitation to facebook again.. will go check it out hehe...

2008-01-28T11:38:00.000+08:00

in school for OB group meeting now..

my leg... hurts royal. pain pain pain.

gotta meet the bunch of bananas for pom later. sick of them, really. esp the group leader and that **** who are so stucked up and... zZz.

anyway. nothing else to say le.. the thought of the pom ppl really chased all other stuff outta my head. so yep. -_-\\\

2008-01-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

okay. i think i feel better after that.

don't know how to put it.. but was so upset yesterday..

they..

nevamind.

they are a bunch of *****.

anyway, gotta stop crying so easily. been crying like wheeee for the past couple of weeks.

not like i want to but.. =/

gah. okay that's all.

2008-01-26T21:38:00.000+08:00

my pom group mates are a bunch of fk-ed up, stucked up, screwed up, xia lan, guai lan assholes+b*tchs+bast@rds.

2008-01-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

in DM lab now... supposed to be listening to the teacher...

but okay la. can that see i'm not *hecks*

actually no lah.. waiting for teacher -_- i'm done wif wads to be done le...

just feel like whining a little more about my teeth... pain pain painnnnn...

bleh~

2008-01-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

my teeth....

feel like they are all gonna fly out T_T

seriously.. the dentist put something in between my teeth... and the things (she called them little rubber rings -_-') are putting pressure on my front teeth and they (the front teeth, not the rubber rings) feel like they are gonna pop straight out of my mouth.

eeewww.

anyways, gonna dye my hair on sunday IF there are nice colours. might settle for highlights if the colours are not fantastic. see how lah.

my data mining lab is starting in about 15 minutes.

yet another boooorrriiiinnnnggg lesson. so yup... gah gah gah~

was twiting with my sis and yulin last night with another guy whose name i cant remember. ahh wadeva. that guy also twits.. once in a while.. so part of the convo goes like this

> last tiime iie twiitinqq euu all alhsO cOmplaiin liike farrkk. nOw euu all alshO twiitinqq whudd.
> qOrtt mehhx` last tiime ishh last tiime lOrhhx`
> farrkk euu
> euu ishh euu, us ishh us. euu dunchh` make shO murch nOise can lerhhx` errxiin quii.

okay, i know we were being really really lame... but we all started twiting cos someone else was twiting.. like ermm, to make fun of him =x it's damn difficult to type like a twit.. i'm pretty amazed at those people who twit in sms -_-' typing on the keyboard already so difficult lah~

2008-01-24T21:31:00.000+08:00

okay, really really last post.

went out wif mum a while ago.. apparently her calling card for calling overseas ain't working... and the person crapped at her bla de bla de bla de bla and asked her to call the customer service hotline, cos they are not in charge of such... bla de bla...

can tell mum was miffed... she was silent.. hostile kind of silent.. scary...

after that she was saying the customer service of that store sux, altho the prices are okay.

haha... anyway... bought some fizzy drinks.. 3 bottles of 1.5L bottles.. had to help mum carry them home... my pooor arms.. sobsob... oh and a carton of milk... =x

yeah and tomoro is dental... have to wake at around 6AM. it's fwigging early for me... argghhh.. so...

yup. havta go and sleep. so yupyup, really really last post... tatarhhs~

2008-01-24T19:49:00.000+08:00

okay this is the 7th post today. hopefully the last =x that is, if i dont suddenly kisiao and post something again xP

i have a new wallet~~~~~~~~~ cost a bomb (not really, but it effectively burnt all the cash i have with me D: )

and it's niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

black~ with a hint of red~ heh. okay that's all =x

2008-01-24T17:39:00.001+08:00

si bei du lan ahhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

zzz. sian lor.. sleepy also...

calculus lecture sux~~~~

the bastard sitting behind me sux as well... rarrhhhh~~~~~~~~

okay. that's all.

(damn, it felt so good to be able to swear like this again =x)

2008-01-24T12:39:00.000+08:00

i just realised the sch comp monitor sot sot de -_- i keep seeing vertical lines of funny colours running down the monitor...

can throw away le lah~~~~~ blehh

sleepy nehh... see i flooding my blog so i wont sleep >___<

2008-01-24T12:27:00.000+08:00

i wanna cry le lah. still in the lab.. effing cold >_<

damn tired in class now.. presentation for EBM is over. if i pass, i'll really scream and go get effing drunk cos that'd be a total mirable. >_<

talking about crying.. i remember once after exam i was talking to travis...

something like this :

"how's the paper"
"okay"
"bad. i wanna cry le lah"
"i also.. i wan go home cry~"

crybabies united. me is the worse/best xP

2008-01-24T11:22:00.000+08:00

school's connection at IT-school really really sux.

not as sucky as maomao's.... BUT it still sux.

the comp damn laggy...

even business school de comp also better den IT school lah... zzz so ironic lor..

bleh... waiting for presentation for EBM. fail le lah.. my group -_- most of them dont come sch de -_-

zzz

btw, some idiot got thrown into rehab... dono suppose to feel happy for him or not.. idiot bleh~ =P

2008-01-24T09:38:00.000+08:00

in lab now... supposed to be listening to mr. ng talking about choosing subjects... BUT all the subjects seem to be IT based. argh. zzzz

bored to death =(

2008-01-24T08:22:00.000+08:00

got this from diana's blog =x=x

anyways i'm gonna be late for school.... andddddd ITS RAINING. wheee

totally no mood le lor T_T

okok i go le.. byebyeeeeee

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men

You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

2008-01-24T01:26:00.001+08:00

To my bestie pres : [very belated] congrats ur comp can finally maple again xP altho u dont have the time to, haha. got time maple sms me arhh.

dono how to put it... some ppl are really.. undeniable stupiak -_- ben ben ben ben ben si de ben dan >_< rarrrhhhhh

tomoro lab early in the morning at 9AM. it's VERY early kay. for me lah.. lazy wake up... >_< hate my IT subjects so much =/ =/

this post is like soooooo no link.. ahh wadeva.

going to sleep soon. blehhhh~

so yup, tatarhss.

2008-01-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

i'm elected to be the emo kid for presentation on monday. hello to emo makeup and emo attitude for the time being. >_<

blehh~~ i don't really know how lor.. how how how~

oh well... now for the long grandmother story =x=x

checked my mail in school today... received an e-card from. *ahem* him.

i thought i made it clear to him that we'll just be friends... but apparently he thought that i shuo shuang only. zzZ.. so~ i replied to one of his many many sms-es today, something like this - in case you don't know, i meant what i said previously - then he replied something like - what thing. what are you talking about - okay. act blur hor.. zzZ so i had no choice but to be straightforward lor... like i care, i mean, i'm past caring...

so i replied - that i do not want to continue with the relationship anymore - and i guess he was like tio stun at the other side... no reply for about an hour or so... i don't really know.. was sms-ing other ppl xP

then~ when he finally reply..... tio flooded =.= tmd.

say what ppl after him lah.. okay wadeva. no one is ever gonna lay a hand on me, cos i have my connections that keep me safe. and although i'm a girl that doesn't mean i can't keep myself safe, okay. =P

it's his fault lor... treat me like... shit. really like shit.. zzzZ. fuck him lor really.. zzz okay wait. i don't want to =/ but wadeva lah...

still say i immature... bla de bla de bla de bla~ like he's any better -_-' i immature still okay lor.. i'm 4 years younger den him leh... should expect it when he started jio-ing me what right...

come to think about it... i like so damn stupiak lor... zzz tolerate all the shit for so long.. T_T so stupiakkkkkk rarrrhh~~

so aiya.. it's over lah so. yup. happy lor xP

2008-01-22T03:32:00.000+08:00

I got tagged. Blah. Bleh. Not going to tag anyone, but if you want to do the tag, go ahead. -_-'

1. Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
* i guess ?

2. When was the last time you met someone new?
* not too long ago

3. When did you last eat pizza?
* cant recall. during the festive season, with yulin. hawaiian, i think

4. Do you drink beer?
* nope

5. Do you wash your own clothes?
* yep

6. Are you any good at poker?
* don't really know how to play -_-'

7. What do you want more than anything? right now?
* someone (:

8. Are you tired?
* beri :(

9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
* pillow. wakaka

10. Pepsi or Coke?
* either works

11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
* no bah ?

12. Jollibee or McDonald's?
* mcdonalds

13. Are you restless?
* now ? nope

14. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
* both. current is desktop

15. Want to be a prince/princess?
* someone's princess (:

16. Do you believe dreams come true?
* yes, but u gotta work for it

17. Last song you heard?
* ai hen jian dan xP

18. The last thing you did last night?
* sleep ?

19. Have you said "I love you" today?
* yepp. i sang along to ai hen jian dan.. plenty of 'i love you's

20. What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?
* erm. i was like the cutest in class ? as like always xP

21. Did you cry at your graduation or smile because you were glad it was over?
* cant remember. i stm lah.

22. What's the last thing you think about before going to sleep at night?
* umm. jacket :X

23. What are your nicknames?
* mad, made, maggie mee, kori, moon, lin, kiki ? -_-' all sorts

24. How do you calm down when your extremely angry?
* =/ throw things ?

25. A movie or a long walk in the beach on a date?
* long walk on the beach. a movie is good too (:

26. What are 3 of the first things you notice in a guy/girl?
* attitude. posture(i dont know why). hair. =x

27. Would you ever date someonecovered in tatoos and piercings?
* nope

28. Would you want a house at the beach or in the mountains?
* beach, considering they will be tsunami-proof

29. What are 2 of your favorite colors?
* red, black

30. What time is it now?
* 3:42AM

31. What's your zodiac sign?
* Snake

32. Are you a (1) party animal or someone who (2) prefers to stay in a quiet place
* not wholly of either.

2008-01-22T03:15:00.001+08:00

I just can't believe how heartless some people can be.

Everytime also play hu leng hu re way.. like it's ever going to work again.

tmd.

Not as though i want to swear but.. ARGH.

2008-01-21T23:04:00.001+08:00

here goes nothing. my obssession for red is once again realised. muahahahahaha :X

愛很簡單

2008-01-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

忘了是怎麼開始
也許就是對你有一種感覺
忽然間發現自己
以深深愛上你
真的很簡單

愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂
是是非非無法決擇
沒有後悔為愛日也去跟隨
那個瘋狂人是我

喔 I LOVE YOU
無法不愛你
BABY 說你也愛我
I LOVE YOU
遠不願意 BABY
失去你

不可能更快樂
只要能在一起
做什麼都可以
雖然世界變個不停
用最真誠的心
讓愛變得簡單

愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂
是是非非無法決擇
沒有後悔為愛日也去跟隨
那個瘋狂人是我

I LOVE YOU
我一直在這裡
一直在愛你
I LOVE YOU
永遠都不放棄
這愛你的權利

如果你還有一些困惑
OH NO
請貼
我的心傾聽
聽我說着
愛你
YES I DO 我愛你

I LOVE YOU, YES
I DO
我一直在這裡
一直在愛你
I LOVE
YOU
永遠都不放棄
這愛你的權利

Love this song. (:

2008-01-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, I had wanted to post something.

Had.

Don't know what to post :X oh well.

So, here goes nothing~~~

I'm so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

2008-01-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hmmm. Changed the archiving thing-ey so that my blog doesn't look so long or what you call that.

Changes in real life include

1. I'm single now. Quoting someone, "Freedom, I can SMELL it~~"
2. Things in school are definitely, though partially, looking up.

Well, nothing much. I really thank whatever for having my friends - sometimes, times like this, I truly appreciate everyone, for the support, care, love, and everything else from everyone. Thanks everyone. (:

There are some things that are perpetually on my mind - moral issues mostly. Well, since whatever advice anyone has are those I already anticipated, I shall not elaborate.

Body #19 is supposedly a horror movie. A little DOTS storyline, something about Multiple Personality Disorder. There's this song that repeats in the movie, really nice.

Warlords is good. Watched it a couple of hours ago. Plenty of action, gore... And a lot of things about brotherhood. Some betrayal, some lust. Some of things here and there.

Alright I guess that's pretty much all.

2008-01-08T19:55:00.001+08:00

Some driving game? =p heh. Pic taken from my parents' car...

2008-01-08T14:29:00.000+08:00

lol.

2008-01-07T18:20:00.001+08:00

Hee... Present from pres for my birthday... My speaker is like just the right size for it =p so so so cute right! Thanks pres so much~ i love you! =p=p

2008-01-06T22:15:00.001+08:00

haha again ^^

2008-01-06T16:50:00.001+08:00

Trying the blogthis function on my phone =p

2007-12-27T01:24:00.001+08:00

"You're depressed again, aren't you?"

I really don't know. Things are going so bad I just want to hide in a corner and cry.. But as the saying goes, crying doesn't change anything - might even make things worse.

When I looked back, I realised that he only held me when I cry because of things that don't involve him. If I cry 'cos of him, he'd never be near, available even.

I cried in a friend's arms when he hurt me some time ago. He did that even though he hurt me - that's admirable.. Like facing your own mistakes.. These things take courage.. To be able to face the consequences of your own actions.. Admirable indeed..

My gan-papa once asked me:

"Did he fetch you from school before?"...
"Umm, never.."..
"WHAT? Uh okay."

It's like.. well I don't know what to say.. Someone younger than him by more than half a decade can actually do better than him... My gan-papa helps me with my shopping and everything that needs to be carried when we go out.. He doesn't. He even let doors smack me in my face.

How cool is that?

But I never did expect much.. I just want happiness.

But happiness seems further away from me now than ever.

Sigh.

2007-12-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

I just don't know where to begin or what to say.

Things already aren't going well, and he still can't... I don't know. He doesn't want to be part of my life, I guess.

If that's the case, I should like, just let him go, shouldn't I?

Anyway, on another tone, I'm not sure lighter or heavier, but whatever...

My life has since taken a more boring turn this semester. It's kind of good, I guess. I'd been doing very well in 2 modules, averagely well in the rest, and acceptable-kind-of-well for my IT subjects. I think I'll have to buck up more for the IT subjects, but so many concepts just elude me.

Sigh.

And they said that conceptual skills are essential for those in the top-management, for example, CEOs, Presidents, Boss. Blah blah blah. Along the lines...

I have already planned for the next 8 years of my life, an outline. Does it mean I am exercising my conceptual skills?

=/

2007-12-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered what is it like...

...To go to bed crying in the wee hours of a Christmas night.

...To wake up with a shattered heart a few hours later..

It's not nice.

She likes alcohol.. It makes her insanely happy, like nothing in the world is ever gonna bother her. Ever. Again. The lights look too bright, colours too vivid, her gait too unstable. But she's happy, and that's all that matters.

Cry On My Shoulder

2007-12-24T01:36:00.000+08:00

If the hero never comes to you
If you need someone, you're feeling blue
If you wait for love when you're alone
If you call your friends, nobody's home

You can run away but you can't hide
Through the storm and through the lonely nights
Then I'll show you, there's a destiny
The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry, cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, you heart gets colder
Yes, I'll show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey, oh let me know
There's a place in heaven where we'll go
If heaven is a million years away
Oh, just call me and I'll make your day

When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you I'll never hide

Cry On My Shoulder
Some mistakes in the lyrics in the page linked, but it has the song embedded. =P

2007-12-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

See no touch
Touch no see
See and touch
Pay Money

Isn't this reminiscent of the old days. =P

2007-12-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

and i ordered a book online. it's called Brain Sex. i wonder what my mum will think when it arrives. *wink*

it's something about psychology by the way. so yup, don't think too much. (:

2007-12-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

i guess i'm only entitled to either doing well in school, or doing well in my personal life. i can't have both at the same time.

it's a wonder how everyone close to me can know me inside-out, literally, and yet the closest doesn't know me at all.

and what's with the strange comment i got in the last post.

so strange.

oh well.. i guess i'll have to change my comment settings.

and tatas till the next time.

2007-11-30T13:55:00.000+08:00

Just some stuff... that don't really have any connection to reality.

Accomplishment by a lost soul;
Revenge for a soul that once has been;
Memories of a tortured soul..

Source: FFVII-related something

2007-11-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

I think I really screwed myself up. Year 4.1 sounds so intimidating. I better work hard, work smart.

I'm thinking of taking Intro to Psych again. (: Just receiving the E-mails from the lecturer really brightened up my day. The impressive sense of humour, at the same time telling us the serious stuff, humorous but not too light-hearted.

Oh well. Gotta get ready for school. So, yup. Tatas.

2007-11-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

Make sure you finish all the quizzes by this Sunday midnight. There will be
absolutely no extensions made except for the most unusual circumstances. Broken
computers are not an acceptable excuse. Chinese New Year is not an excuse.
Kidnapped by aliens might do it if you had a letter from the aliens to prove it.

As I write this we still have 250 people who haven’t done Quiz 7 yet.

Hypothesis - This group of students loves Intro to Psychology so much
they are refusing to submit their quizzes thus allowing them to take Intro to
Psych again.

Peer Appraisals. You should all have done this by now but
if you have not done them for some reason (aliens perhaps?) then you better get
ahold of your tutor right away and get it done. There is a 5 mark penalty to
your group project grade if you don’t submit your peer appraisal.

-----
Ahh, I really do appreciate a good lecturer with a good sense of humour.

2007-11-22T09:46:00.000+08:00

On the way to school just now, I nearly, very nearly, put my hand on a HUGE grasshopper. It's like hmm. Using my hand as a reference, it reaches from my wrist to the first joint of my index finger. ISN'T THAT LIKE, HORRENDOUS?

Yucks.

2007-11-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

It's not thanksgiving, but anytime is time for counting our blessings, and appreciate what we have around us.

Thanks Pres, Eunice, PN, YX and all my classmates for making my secondary school days a joy;
Thanks Francis maomao for being there for me when I need someone to talk to;
Thanks Wilbert for listening to me with a cryptic ear and those advices that sting but useful nonetheless;
Thanks Jinghua, Melissa (both), Zehui, Megan, Jon, Tra and all those whom I missed out for a brilliant first year in poly;
Thanks all my teachers and tutors/facilitators over the last 6 years in secondary school and poly for imparting knowledge and of course the life skills;
Thanks Lucas and Mal for all the whacky times together, all the laughter and madness, I'm truly glad we even met;
Thanks my parents for having me, supporting me all through the years, being proud of me at times, angry at others.. thanks for everything, for every single day i live to see;

and i believe i did miss out some others, but forgive me - my memory always disappoints me.

Some things happened. The worst of them happened on Sunday, but I shall not say anything - I had agreed not to tell. But the gist of it is, it's hell a lot of disappointments. Maybe a slight case of betrayal. But nevermind.. like the saying goes - what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I will be strong, you can never get me down, never again.

The feeling of being manipulated.. the helplessness.. it really sucks.

But still, I can't help but want to cry at the smell of cigarette smoke. And, I do not, in any case, smoke.

2007-11-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

The world is like, so screwed up.

School started.

Tutorials are fine.

I'm really making an effort.

Just hope things will go well.

2007-11-09T11:54:00.000+08:00

Simplistic.

2007-11-09T11:30:00.000+08:00

if you believe in cycles.

what comes around, does go around..

the good, the bad, the evil, the ugly..

and what has a beginning has an end - definitely.

life has got death.. love has got... not hate, but indifferences..

just a question to end this crappy post - just how many chances is too many chances? one? three? five?

2007-11-01T15:29:00.001+08:00

Cranky. Cranky. Cranky.

Just back from school to drop some stuff off before heading to school, again.

=/

2007-11-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Well, my bf is my property, fullstop.

You wouldn't want to argue that point, he is my bf afterall. M-I-N-E.

So, take it or leave it.

=)

2007-10-31T13:46:00.001+08:00

I'm in the computer lab in school, supposedly discussing for the Systems Analyst project thingie. My team is "tearing the whole case apart", quote courtesy of my tutor who was watching us yesterday with amusement.

It's Calculus later, not really looking forward to it. It vaguely reminds me of A.Math, and I'm kinda scared of it =/.

Well that's pretty much all for now. Haha.

2007-10-30T23:05:00.001+08:00

I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your
words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you leave
But I was
listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you
whisper
As you walked through that door
But still I swore
To hide the
pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out
And
begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my
heart
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to
you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver
wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making
all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive
that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say
"Wait for me, I’ll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered
With your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt
When
I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head
And said
that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough
To know it's not too
late
'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to
you
Even though I can't see,
I know they're reaching you
Suspended on
silver wings
Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making
all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to
you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle
you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you
forever

1000 Words, FF-X2

I've always loved this song, listening to it over and over again, never getting sick of it. :P

2007-10-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

Today I realised something that disturbs me so - I have very little control over my emotions when it's regarding him. And only slightly more when it is about something else.

I don't know what are my abilities anymore. People have always told me I'm smart, but I really don't believe it. Screw that 248 (82.67%) aggregate at primary school, the 14/11 points I get for O'levels. They are but figures that mean absolutely nothing to me. I want to be more.. Successful.. In other aspects - socially, mentally, physically, emotionally, academically. I want to be an all-rounded individual. Even so, I know I probably can be, or cannot be what I want.

Anyway, I believe I am digressing. Ya, so about him. I don't know why or how, but I have a distinct feeling I'm becoming the nightmare girlfriend, aka girlfiend =/. I don't like the idea of him hanging around a particular girl, or going around fooling with others. And what makes the deal sweeter, is that the particular girl in the equation LOVES him.

L-O-V-E-S him.

Okay, did I say you can love my property, huh? You *** ** **** ** ** **** *****.

Well that's kind of mean. I don't mind if that girl is some decent, nice girl who respects others and such. Well, you know, nice nice girls. Girls that girls like. But she's a total slut.

And well, he still does hang around her, despite being fully aware of how she feels.

And the result is, I'm sulking somewhere, feeling all sour and pouty. Childish, I know. But since when had I not being childish, or child-like for the matter?

Before I started typing the post, I had wanted very much to bitch for.. well, like forever. Somehow I just forgot what I wanted to say/type. So yes, that will be all for now.

2007-10-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

School started for a week already.

Still, I can't get used to being back in school, even though it's week 2 already.

I admit to skipping some lectures last week (guilty=/). But first week lectures are, well, nothing much actually. This week, however, marks the start of (here's my cue to sigh, so let's all sigh. SIGH.) tutorials and lab sessions. So, it's goodbye quiet restful lazy holidays, and hello hustle bustle of school life.

And yes, I shall start off the new semester with my resolution for the rest of the year 2007 and for the whole of 2008 and till April'2009, that I'll fulfill, hopefully - to work much much harder to drag my oh-so-pathetic GPA up to something more presentable. And of course, try to get a distinction. (It'll look so good on my result slip, right?)

Today, my year 1 tutor, Mr. Ang Chin Chai (cincai =P) took my lecture group. He's being lame, as usual. He's the supposed subject leader (does it make a single difference? not to me. =/). And yes, he assured us that Systems Analysis will be VERY fun. Ohhkayy, we'll see. Anyway, somehow, he managed to brighten my mood for the day, even if it's just a little bit. At least it isn't as dark as the stormiest cloud after his lecture. :)

2007-10-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

---
sometimes in life, we realise that such things are but fantasies by our ever so creative minds. the fact is always so cold, so hard..

i simply can't tolerate it when i go out with a person who constantly uses the cellphone, be it calls or messages. it's like, kinda rude in my point of view.

i don't know what's up with me recently. been crying excessively.. been too sensitive.. been everything i hated..

and i really feel that i don't deserve all i have, not at all. everyone's good, all but me. i'm just.. not good enough.

maybe i'm just putting myself down.. it'll pass..

i hope.

2007-10-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

the crescent moon, the starless sky, but more importantly, the imperfection of it all;
for perfection gives no room for improvement and plenty for conceit.

---

so, tell me why are we all striving for perfection? as it had been said, many many times before, and countless times again - the world isn't perfect; no one's perfect. and the such.

so, tell me why.

2007-10-21T22:02:00.000+08:00

oh well. in any case the world's a shithole, and we're all in it.

well said.

--------

well, school's in tomorrow. it's a wonder how time flies.

it's 2 month since the start of the holidays - much had happened, more downs than ups, but i survived. cheers.

it's a year and a day since i said yes. there are times when i regret, slightly, but still, i did. but after all that happened. we're still together. i love you darling. (:

it's almost 11 months since that day when i did something new. daunting, even hurting. but it's a new experience.

i hate having a sore throat - it hurts my throat. :(

well, that's pretty much all i have to say. it ain't much, but, heyy, you need inspiration for such things, and i'm like, lacking it right now.

so, yup, anyone that has excess inspiration, please donate it to me. but, firstly, you have to find out how.

2007-10-17T01:12:00.000+08:00

many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. to handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. anger is only one letter short of danger. if someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. he who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all. beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. friends, you and me... you brought another friend... and then there were three... we started our group... our circle of friends... and like that circle... there is no beginning or end... yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery. today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

2007-10-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

As you grow up, you learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let you down probably will. You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it gets harder each time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours. You'll fight with your best friend and maybe fall in love with them. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone close to you.

So, take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

2007-10-15T02:55:00.000+08:00

well if you can't see it.. follow this link [here]

actually i'm like bored outta my skin.. so yeah. lameness ^^